Alex takes his first trip out in years
For several years, Alex had chosen not to leave his home. At times, even leaving the security of his bedroom was difficult.
But after months of patient support from FitzRoy’s Support at Home Norfolk team, Alex has taken a huge step – getting back into his car and going out for the first time in years. His mum Christine said:
I was delighted. Kim and Emily were over the moon too because they could see the results of all their perseverance.
Finding the right support for Alex
Alex is 35, autistic and doesn’t communicate with words. He lives at home with his parents in Norwich and likes familiar people, places and routines. When Alex finished special school, Christine remembers wondering what would come next. An attempt at a boarding school in Lincolnshire did not work for Alex. He enjoyed another local service but when that organisation closed, the family needed to find something new.
They began with one day a week of support from FitzRoy. It worked well and gradually increased to two days and then four days a week.
With support, Alex went swimming and bowling, ate out at restaurants and travelled in his own mobility car.
“He used to do all sorts of things with his carers.” Christine said. But some difficult experiences changed things.
On one swimming trip, Alex was using a local, private pool when another group arrived and asked him to leave. They were mistaken, they had booked a different pool, but the sudden interruption was extremely distressing for Alex and he became very upset. Afterwards, he became much more reluctant to go swimming or go to other places.
Later, a car journey when Alex had painful earache was another difficult experience. When Covid arrived and his usual face-to-face support stopped, going out had become increasingly challenging for him. By the time restrictions eased, Alex was spending most of his time in his bedroom and would not leave the house.
Building trust again
Support workers Kim and Emily have known Alex for years. When they were able to visit again, they spent time with Alex at home, rebuilding familiar routines and finding things he enjoyed. Slowly, they encouraged him to spend more time outside his bedroom.
“Kim and Emily are really good with him.” Christine says. “Kim got him out of his bedroom and coming into the sitting room. They have really persevered.”
From the sitting room, they began encouraging Alex into the garden. They introduced games, a ball and hide and seek, making time outside something enjoyable rather than something Alex was expected to do. Kim has since suggested giant Jenga and other garden games that the family can use to keep building on that progress. There was no set timetable. If Alex wasn’t ready, they didn’t push him.
Getting ready for a bigger step
The team began to think Alex might be ready to try his car again, so they began to prepare carefully. It was a big step for Christine too. After seeing Alex so distressed in the past, she was understandably nervous about trying again.
“We always have to give him a couple of weeks’ notice that something is going to happen,” Christine says. So for two weeks she talked to Alex about going out in the car with Kim and Emily.
Then the day arrived.
“Do you want to get out?”
Alex got into the car with Kim and Emily and they set off. Christine stayed at home.
I couldn’t concentrate. I kept checking my phone.
Kim and Emily drove around with Alex for a while, letting him settle and enjoy the journey. When they reached somewhere quiet, Kim got out and asked Alex if he wanted to get out too. He nodded. “He got out and held onto her so tightly.” Christine says. “She has the patience of a saint. They are both really good with him and he recognises them.” They carried on driving and went past a dinosaur park that Christine used to take Alex to when he was younger. Kim and Emily sent her a photograph of Alex waving at the dinosaurs. They also stopped for a jam doughnut from Greggs which Alex thoroughly enjoyed. Most importantly, he was relaxed and happy. Kim and Emily told Christine he had been laughing during the trip.
Back home, but not back to his bedroom
When Alex arrived home, instead of immediately returning to the safety of his bedroom, he went into the sitting room, sat down and watched television. For Christine, Kim and Emily, it was another sign of how far he had come.
A few days later, Kim was back. She and Alex spent time together in the garden until it started raining. When they came inside, Alex stayed in the sitting room, watching television and colouring.
Kim and Emily are sharing what they have learned with Alex’s wider support team so everyone can give him the same consistent support and build on his progress at a pace that works for him.
For most of us, a drive, a doughnut and waving at some dinosaurs might sound like an ordinary morning. For Alex and his family, after years of him not wanting to leave home – or even his bedroom – it was a massive achievement.
Support at Home in Norfolk
FitzRoy’s Support at Home Norfolk team supports adults with learning disabilities and autistic people across Norwich and much of Norfolk. We support people in their own homes, including people who live with their families, with support built around the individual and what matters to them.